just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
