So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Randomize
