Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm like, not good at living.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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