Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
