I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
