I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
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