Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
what day is it and did you see me today?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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