I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
