I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
