if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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