its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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