help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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