Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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