I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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