I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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