I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
This toilet bowl is my home.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
