is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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