If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize