I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
