Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i barfeds in our rink
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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