Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
