Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
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