Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize