there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
