I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
