Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
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