people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
