Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
