i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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