i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
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No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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