Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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