She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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