idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
