pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize