yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
