At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
