she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
