I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
