i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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