Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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