i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
