i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
accomplished twins. life is a go
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize