even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
