i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
be right there i have to get my cape
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
