the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
