i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize