Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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