we're blogging at a bar
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
