i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
