Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
