I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
