Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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