I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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