My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
