there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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