Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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