it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
